How Clean is your House?

So far, it hasn’t been the best of weeks. I started off on Monday by taking a friend to the treatment centre at MK hospital to have a lump removed from her breast. Not the best start to the week; I was glad I could be of help in the transport department, relieved it wasn’t me of course and hopefully the biopsy won’t show up anything nasty.

Unfortunately for me, it was the monthly general meeting of the Lion Hearts Cruising Club on Monday evening and Phil made me promise before he left for Somerset, that I would attend. Funny thing that seeing as he was the one that wanted to join the club and have a boat moored in the yard and yet it is yours truly that has to attend our first meeting! Phil laughed when he realised he would be away but I can tell you, it took great inner strength for me to go alone. It was a wet soggy walk down to the clubhouse, which I have to tell you, was packed out, even though I had arrived early. They did make me welcome I have to say, but I was most embarrassed when the club commodore made me stand up when he introduced me as a new member. I was cursing Phil inwardly whilst smiling and listening to the items on the agenda. There was a nice lady called Jenny who was the club secretary and she looked after me. I signed the register, brought 2 raffle tickets and took my place at the back of the room. I declined tea and cake and was home by 9.30. Boy was I ready for a large glass of wine! And naturally I had to phone Phil immediately to tell him of my ordeal.

Phil, on the other hand, also hasn’t had a great week. I won’t go into too much detail because no doubt he will want to tell his own story BUT I think he misses me or his home comforts and feels far away. A friend said that he must feel like he is at boarding school for the first time and I guess he is right. Poor Phil! It was weird being ‘home alone’ on Monday for the first time and having to be responsible for turning off and locking up but now I’ve got used to being a proper grown up, you know what, ‘it’s kind of cool’! Tongue in cheek and of course I do miss Phil; he is cross that I can’t get the video camera to work but maybe this is a good thing, I look so shit of late that maybe its best he can’t see me on camera. Best to imagine!

Things have been fraught this week and I have had no time to be lonely. After the trauma of Lion Hearts on Monday, Tuesday fared no better although I can’t remember why. Wednesday was even worse; trip to the dentist for my appointment with Tina the hygienist who for some reason hates my guts with a passion and afterwards followed an ECDL test on Module 7 which I’m glad to say I passed especially as it cost me 25 quid to take.

Harriet came round on Wednesday night for dinner. I cooked half a roast chicken (ready cooked from Sainsbury’s for £1.94, great for money) together with mash with peas, broccoli and green beans. It was good to catch up but I was ready for her to leave because I was dying to call Phil who had gone out with a fellow contractor for a pint and I wanted to know how he’d got on. I’m so nosey.

The biggest SHIT of the week though has to be getting the flat back in Oldbrook. Simon phoned me late Tuesday to say that he'd cleared his stuff and had dropped the keys in the letterbox. He was clever and knew that it was too late for me to inspect; he refused to give me a forwarding address and on Thursday morning I knew why. I don’t know if you have ever watched ‘How Clean is Your House’ but if you have, you’ll know what I’m taking about. My house was SHIT when I inspected it and I have to say the worst repossession I have ever done. Phil is normally with me when we get a flat back and is very skilled at calming me down. But hey he wasn’t there and I was very upset. First up I did an ‘up and down’ inspection and seeing the state of the gaff went on a verbal rampant that went something like this: “Simon, ex tenant of 8 years, I wish you a painful, premature early death, i.e. within the next 2 months and I wish you no morphine relief AND I wish that you contract C-Diff or worse still MRSA”. Yeah it was long a rant I know and I’m an evil person for thinking such dark thoughts but I think I am justified; this guy owes me 2 months rent, the very least he could have done was leave the place in a reasonable condition. Oh the joys of being a landlady.

Now you know what a truly horrible person I am. I don’t care; if you’d seen what SHIT I cleared yesterday, you would understand. It was horrible; even David the posh plumber that I had booked to turn off the water and rip out the bathroom, made his excuses and dipped out in favour of another job. I cleared 56 sacks of rubbish, I dug out the bathroom carpet and underlay; I found a bucket of puke under the lovely hand made wooden bed that Phil brought me. That took some doing I can tell you, god only knows how long it had been there. I could go on and on, suffice to say that the place was really rank and I know I have 2 more days of surface cleaning to get rid of all of the bacteria. I suppose I should be used to this by now as I seem to spending my life cleaning other people’s shit.

Still on a brighter note, it's a beautiful day and Phil is coming home tonight. I have got the wine chilling in the fridge along with the sticky toffee puddings that he so loves and a cupboard full of Bombay mix. Things can only get better.