Movies, Moans & White Goods

One of the very few good things about living in the kebab flat is that it is handy for the cinema. We can literally go out of the front lobby, walk a straight line through the centre, past Starbucks and McDonalds and we end up on the doorstep of The Odeon. Like Cineworld, Tuesday night is also half price at The Odeon. Me and Phil prefer The Odeon over Cineworld mainly because we its empty and we literally have the cinema to ourselves. It’s rather like having our very own cinema room albeit across the boulevard.

I forgot to mention in the blog but last Tuesday night me and Phil went to see ‘How to Lose Friends & Alienate People’; a film based on a book written by Tony Young. As well as half price tickets, we also got a free copy of Toby’s new book entitled ‘The Sound of No Hands Clapping’. And yes, you’ve guessed right, it was my night to choose but Phil surprisingly didn’t moan as much as he usually does. Phil said it was a clever film but I found it in most parts to be laboured and somewhat over exaggerated but maybe that’s just me and my lack of a sense of humour. It got better as it went along but I’d only rate it 5 out of 10.

The film we saw last night called ‘Taken’ however, was brilliant and we both really enjoyed it. It’s a story about kidnap and me and Phil were on the edge of our seats from start to finish. I let out a few piercing screams so it was a good job that we were the only two in the cinema. Anyway I diversify, I’d give the movie 10 out of 10 and can totally recommend a viewing, even if you don’t get to see this at the cinema you must get it out on DVD when it’s released.

Back to my week so far; everything that could go wrong for me on Monday, did so. I got to the shopping mall in Netherfield only to find that the launderette had been shut down. You really do have to walk the talk when you go down this stretch of shops, I was frightened for my life. Rough or what? Even the pensioners in the scooters looked dangerous! It makes our kebab block look like a walk in the park. I took my washing to the TMA flat which is still empty but as luck would have it has a washing and a dryer. However I couldn’t get the machine to work and came home with my bag still full of washing. Turns out that Phil had turned off the water.

Yesterday morning Emma came round for coffee with her little man (real name Kai). I was desperate to keen the latest gossip on the cul-de-sac and movements of our tenant and Emma wanted to see how low we’d sunk. She said “oh my god” as she entered every room but she said she didn’t think that the kebab flat was as bad as I’d made out. But then again she doesn’t have to live here. Emma didn’t have any dirt to dish on Ash our tenant. It appears that he is keeping himself to himself and Emma tells me the blinds in our house are never open. She finally got to have a few words with him on Monday morning when they both were putting out their rubbish sacks. She said that Ash said he was very happy living in our house of which I’m glad about. No honestly, I am happy that he’s happy living like a lord in my lovely house backing on to the canal. I wonder whether he will be as happy when he gets his electric bill in December. Other than that, Emma said that the poker parties were still going on and the dogs were still barking mad. Some things never change hey?

After she left, I had to wait in for the fridge/freezer to be delivered. A delivery slot of between 7am to 8pm is not good for the soul but our appliance came mid afternoon so I shouldn’t complain too much. Yesterday was a manic one. I went for my usual shower at David Lloyd but had to get back in time to let Jason in from Stony Stratford Aerials. Although Sky refused to put a pole and a dish on the roof, I managed to persuade Jason to ignore the freehold laws and yesterday morning in the drizzle, he got up his long ladder and has managed to erect an aerial that faces south. While Jason was up on the roof in the rain, the delivery van turned up with our new washer/dryer. They dumped this in the kitchen and just as they left the estate agent turned up with a client to view. I don’t hold any hopes mind you; the kebab flat was looking particularly grim and they were in our flat for no more than a minute tops. To make matters worse somebody had dumped a minging sofa and a fridge right outside our front door and we'd added our oven, washer/dryer and fridge/freezer to the pile of rubbish, so the front lobby really does like steptoe’s yard. Not an attractive look.

The aerial on the pole looks hideous but at long last we have a digital connection and can see the free-view channels inbuilt in the TV. To get a digital connection into the kebab flat has cost us the best part of nearly 300 quid but hopefully it will be worth it. Phil was in his element last night flicking away watching everything and nothing in particular. He was so excited at one point he forgot what programme he was actually viewing! This thing with the remote has to be a man thing. I used to get upset but it’s a battle I can never win and these days I don’t even bother. Still on the upside of the digital aerial at least now I can go ahead and sort out the broadband.

Every cloud and all that.........................